This is urgent.

Today I have a guest for you guys. Before he comes in prepare to be blown off. He is the guy your mother warned you about.
This guy holds a guiness world record of emptying guiness bottles like nothing. He is not heard of for he is feared he would drink the guiness in the ‘guiness world record’.

Well, he is stiĺl a true friend. And a ‘tanker’ ofcourse.
I could spend all day introducing this guy. So here comes. Grab your popcorns, 3D glasses, put your safety belt on and enjoy.

Lets call him Francis. Francis because that is his real name. He is a poet. An upcoming poet, hehe.
Welcome!

My future wife.

You are probably a heavy sleeper.
My heart feels that you already have a sponsor.
Of Course you are in this rotten generation.
That focuses on goal realization through legs separation.
I hope that sponsor bustard is going easy on you.
I can’t stand the struggle of your satisfaction.
When some bastard has already perfected the art of organ expansion on you.
You will be deceived about this and that.
Empty promises that are not worth a chit chat.
I pity you my dear.
But all I can do is stare.
Stare at my imaginary wife.
When I never had a girlfriend in this life.

On the other hand, I may be looking at you in the wrong way.
You might be a good girl so to say.
One that has gone through heartbreaks.
But still strong to face the world every daybreak.
One that worries about the future.
But doesn’t forget the lessons taught by nature.
Everyone wants to date, taste, and rate you.
But all you give is serene, clean and genuine love.
But a bustard keeps taking that for granted.
When true love is all you ever wanted.

How can I ever meet you?
This is the question that with always I’ll have an issue.
To rescue you from all this wickedness.
That like the Israelites has kept you in the wilderness.
To treat you like the princess you are.
And give you the kind of loving that you deserve.
How I wish wishes were horses.
My heart as a beggar of your love would have countless stables.
And a store full of leather saddles.
So that its joy would be fulfilled.
And we, dashing around in the fields.

If fate brings us together.
I know this because I trust my Creator.
I will keep you as a treasure.
Treat you right with no pressure.
A lady is to be pleased and not to be squeezed.
I finally will rest happy that the one I love,
Is the one I have.
I will perfectly write my vows being loving and true.
From the bottom of my heart and not out of the blues.
To have and to hold.

The rest is history my dear.
But I have one fear.
You are probably one of my Ex-es who I never treated right.
Or my crush who I named bitch……but it’s alright.

From out of the blue with love!

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Signed.
Irungu Warui Francis.

NB: He does Not mean what he writes!

Dreams and Nightmares

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You are asleep. Deep asleep. You are in dreamland dreaming. You have everything one would define as success. You have a big house and parked outside is a four wheel machine and beside it is an Audi. You smile. You have a successful smile. Heheh. From a far you hear this voice, a child’s voice and you look back. She is running to you calling you dad. You smile and laugh. You really have a beautiful daughter. You feel proud. Then someone crosses her hands around your neck from behind. You can feel her hair all around you and you can tell its her original hair and not a weave or some hair sjuii from brazil. She whisphers into your ears but you don’t hear a thing. Your mind is trying to calculate who this woman is. To find out who you decided to share your joys and sorrows with. Mostly sorrows. You hope its not that ex who you wrote an official letter to with a Ref stating in capital letters that “KARMA IS A BITCH” which was also in bold and underlined. So you turn around. Her face so not very clear. You go ahead and try to draw her hair away from her face to see the dazzling beautiful face but then the curiosity and anxiety is too much.

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 You wake up. 30 minutes earlier than your alarm expected. The room is all dark. You look up and meditate a little bit. You are jobless. You are broke. You are staying in your parent’s home. Life is not going your way. Your life is at a crossroad. You don’t know what to do next. Your parents’ have been the reason for your existence for the last 21 years. You wonder what is your purpose in life. Nightmare is what is written aĺl over your face. But you decide you have to do something. You mummer a little prayer hoping that the Man Above will listen. You get out of bed and start preparing for yet another day to try implement your ideas. Ideas you are still looking for. You hope a breakthrough will tag along and maybe this article will have a part 2 which you will share your successes. Where your dream will be you reality.

©hiramcarrick✌

Me vs You.

What is there to differentiate us?

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Don’t ask why i put that photo there. It brings out the message i want to deliver. That we are different and unique. Hehe.

So here is the article we’ve all been waiting for. Enjoy!

You are tall, dark and handsome. What every woman prays for I guess. On the other hand, I’m short, a little bit light skinned. A little bit light skinned meaning during a black out you’d be able to see me not some part of me. No offence but for some peeps just the teeth and a little bit of the eyes would be visible. Not you my fellow developer, Jaswal maybe. I’m also not so very handsome but I’m handsome. At least that’s what my mum tells me. I may be a woman’s worst nightmare but yet still I believe I have a purpose on this earth.

If you’ve never seen your face posted somewhere with a hashtag Mcm raise up your hand. None? Cowards. Wait! I see one hand …two hands ….three, four, five …20. Thats a large number given that we’re 21 in here. Nobody is a mistake we are told.

You are not too tall and not too short, light-skinned and ‘beautifull’. Yes, beautiful with double ‘L’, damn! Also blessed with a behind portfolio and a well protruding chest. What every man prays for or thirsts for. Is this why you always blue tick me?
On the other hand, there is this lady. Either too tall or too short, dark-skinned because black is a mean word. And beautiful without the ‘L’. Beautifu? Also not so blessed with the gluteus maxima. Let’s call it gluteus minima. You can google those words. Men treat her as their second option or last option, it depends. If she is lucky, a ‘chiby’ somewhere will always be on her trail. Chiby means ‘fisi’ in my dictionary, hehe. Chiby will put her as his wcw. If he doesn’t don’t worry i got you. Put me as your Mcm and you wiĺl be my wcw. Simple, right?

Life is smooth for you. You roll with the best. Your best saying is You Only Live Once. You have a k at the end of your followers in instagram. Damn! You really are a big deal. On the other hand, life is quite challenging for me. I roll with me. “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” is my best saying. I too have a k at the end of my instagram followers, just that it ain’t visible. I hope they fix the bug.

So then, what is there to differentiate us? The looks? The gluteus maxima? The foĺlowers? To me NO. Maybe a little and a little extra on the gluteus maxima but mainly what differentiates us is Character.

Your character is what matters. Character is what defines us. Character makes us different and unique. Character is what makes us human beings. Character either demands for respect or lack of respect. Character is spirit. Character builds over time. Character is additive.

So let’s shape our character. Let’s not judge each other and if judging is in your blood then don’t judge on petty things like instagram followers.

As one philosopher said,” Our character is defined by what we do when no one is looking”

Ps: I’m not racist Jaswal. Just that you were at the wrong place at the right time. Sorry.

Late night manifestations …

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The house is dark. The clock is ticking. I am typing. I can barely see my keyboard but I am trying. I know you’re wondering why the house is dark. No I don’t love zombies or shit; I am out of tokens. Then you’re now thinking,” This guy must be lazy, why can’t he buy the tokens?” First of all, this ain’t my crib, it’s my parents crib. You wondering what a crib is? Peter 2? Chakin? Don’t worry I will explain. A crib is a rib with a letter ‘c’ at the start

Secondly, I don’t have money to buy tokens for my parents. You know why? Because my mother will smile to herself and think that I got money for myself and the few pocket coins she gives to me will be no more. Also, my dad will keep borrowing me change for his thousand notes just to confirm I got nothing on me because he likes harassment. That’s too much for me to handle right now. He doesn’t know they call me ‘sponsor’ at school. Happy fathers’ day though. Thirdly, I am home alone. My parents are in dream land and they don’t give a damn if there is lights or not

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So I’m still typing in the dark. I have already bought tokens with my mum’s phone but KPLC has decided not to reply. Hey KPLC, Knock Knock, shit I can’t find the exclamation button, lucky bastards. It has been one hour of waiting and my laptop is going to die any moment now, not die dying but the battery is going to lose charge and the laptop will not be able to function because it needs power to function. Look what you made me do there Peter and Chakin, this guys though, haha. We surely come from different backgrounds.

Hey neighbors, sorry for not greeting you today, I need some power. My phone too is dying (I ain’t going to do the explaining again Peter, see chakin got it). Neighbors be like,” Karma is a bitch bruh. Next time say hello. We are asleep!!” (They found the exclamation, unlucky me!!)

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20% remaining. 10 errors. 0 sleep. Have you ever been in a dark room and seen something that seems to be staring at you? Remember how scared you were, yeah that is me right now. Who told me to watch Night at the museum? That movie is manifesting its real self over here.

Sorry guys I’m out. I gotta sleep now or is it hide inside my blankets?
Any can do. Good night!!

Alaa!!

Success

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“Success is not a destination but a journey”. The guy who said this was 101 percent sober. The reality is you just can’t wake up successful. If you expect success to be like ” Knock Knock!!” and you be like” Who’s there?” Stop dreaming and wake up! Success is something you work for, something you put your efforts in.
I remember my entrepreneurship lecturer comparing success to workouts. How you work out each day (drop the serious face, i know most of you guys don’t workout), either going to the gym or some exercise of some sort we expect results and that is how you achieve that muscular body or that body that is manageable. It is about consistency. Success is about consistency. Not giving up no matter how difficult the burden is.

Let me define success in my own words. Philosopher Hiram carrick, hehe.
Success in my viewpoint is a path, a path that we create each day. It is not just a matter of counting days and giving a plain statement that,” In certain years i want to be a billionaire”(I ain’t saying it is bad but accompany it with some actions). It is about making each day count. That is the first step to making it.

These other few tips may be your way to success;

#1. Put God first
Only God knows our tomorrow. He knows our ambitions and He knows where we want to be. Remember God and He will remember you

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#2. Know your passion
What is it that you do love? That one thing you would wake up at 2 a.m and not complain of sleep. Embrace your
passion, no matter how parabilic it may sound or how lame it may be, embrace what you love. It is a ticket to
success.

#3. Make each day count
Make each and everyday of your life count. Even that day that you are sick and not able to move a muscle, you
can still make it count. Appreciate the presence of life. It is not normal to wake up each and everyday of your life.
Lovelife.

#4. Be consistent
Yees be consistent. Life will always offer you challenges along the way. What matters is how you respond to
them. As long as you don’t give up then Success is yours

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#5. Take it slow
Don’t be in a hurry to accomplish nothing. Appreciate baby steps in all that you do. As long as you are moving no need to worry. Be satisfied.

#6. Never fear
Fear paralyses people. Fear is a murderer. Fear puts you in the grave and buries you alive. Fear doesn’t care who you are. If you let it in you are done, totally!

#7. Have a succeeding mindset
What you perceive in mind is what you achieve. Perceive a succeding mindset and that is what you will achieve
“A man is but the product of his thoughts”

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Most importantly remember to give. The Universe repays gratitude. When you give, nature will always give you
more so that you may continue to give. A wise rich man once said,” The moment i stop giving then i become poor”.

Alaa!!

LIFE

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What is Life?

Life is quite a parable i may say. Nobody knows tomorrow, not even what will happen the next minute but we all live coz that is the only option we got

Life is one precious thing that we all have. I see guys hashtagging things like #You Only Live Once #YOLOmanenoz and other hashtags that just come from anywhere

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Buh let me tell you something: bring you head closer so I may whisper to your ears. “The reason you are alive is because you have not yet fulfilled your purpose on earth”.

Few things I have to say about life that we ought to apply:

#1. Never give a damn about people

Yes, never give a damn about people (unless you are in human resource and I have applied for a job there, please give a damn about me hehe). People just roll with you because of who you are or what you are made up of or because of something they want in you. Only family and real friends will love you for what you are or for what situation you are in

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#2. You Only Live Once

You Only Live Once yooh. Get that in your head. Once you’re gone you are gone until Jesus Christ comes again or sumn’. So don’t live like you will be here forever. Today may be the day you get your calling so let us all appreciate each day and do good maen. Its not much to ask or is it?

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#3. Failure is part of life

Why do people fail and start lamenting sjuii ooh God is not on my side, sjui I think I was cursed or sjui it runs in our family. Damn it!! When you fail or fall, stand up and try again. This is what makes life life. If everything was just winning life would be boring. Even Barcelona got beaten after 39 consecutive wins and they still won the league.

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#4. Move on

Life is about moving on. Change is inevitable. As life goes on, we change. Situations and circumstances make us change. Who you were five years ago is not who you are now. So let us accept moving on. Is it in unfruitful relationships let us move on, is it in a lazy state you are in, move on! Let us keep moving for the better

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#5. Reality is irresistible

You cannot, underline cannot, escape from the reality of life. No matter how much you try to believe in your illusions, Reality is reality. So let us not be cowards by trying to escape from reality. Let us face it head on and embrace it and try to make our dreams work in it

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#6. We all have a purpose

May be you are reading this and wondering what role you have to play in life. What is this life that I am talking about. In life, no one is a mistake. God brought you here for a purpose that you have to fulfill. That purpose will reveal itself to you at the right time. Just do what you do but your purpose you have to fulfill.

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#7. No one is perfect

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. Or is there anyone reading this that has not made a mistake in his lifetime? (Raise up your hand, no, no one). The reality is people are just perfect in their imperfections. Don’t look down on yourself, be proud of you. Stand up and live.

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T.I – Live your life FT Rihanna

Have an exciting life, won’t you?

Alaa!!

First Post.

Happy Mothers’ Day

Today 8th May 2016, being mother’s day, I decide to give birth to this site.

Me: “Doctor! Is it a boy or a girl?”
Doctor: “I can’t tell”
May be Gash can(This lightskin chap deserves to be told happy mothers’ day buh lets not focus on him today)

Today I celebrate all mothers worldwide for everything they’ve done for us, all of us. I also celebrate all women, those who will one day be mothers and mostly those that have at one time lost a child during birth.

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photo courtesy: Chiby254

All mothers, alive or dead, have played a role in a child’s life by just giving birth to us. They didn’t abort. They gave us life. They knew we were never a mistake. They carried us all along for the nine months. Big respect.

For you mum, I love you big. You’ve been there in my ups and downs, in my cries and in my laughter, in my happiness and in my sadness, in my childhood and in my adulthood. No words can be put together to appreciate your deeds but only two words I have for you mum. “Thank you!” Thank you again and again.

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My final say: Lets’ all appreciate our mothers. Put any griefs, hatred and negative feelings aside if there is any. If she is far away surprise her with a call and if she is with God just say a prayer and appreciate her.

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Have a happy mothers’ day, won’t you?

Alaa!